I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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