Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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(303): View more from Colorado

New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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(419): View more from Ohio

I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

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(313): View more from Michigan

My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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(226): View more from Ontario

I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor

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(727): View more from Florida

Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.

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