you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
