If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
