I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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