i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
