Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
