OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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