"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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