True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
