Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
