is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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