Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
everyone is single if you try hard enough
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
