I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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