question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
