Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You may now shotgun with the bride
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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