he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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