but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
