Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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