We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
