i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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