So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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