Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
