i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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