actually, I'm a sock model
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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