I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His hands were made for my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
