Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
