I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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