why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
