I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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