Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
