Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
