my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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