I wanna bring you to show and tell
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
