I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
