I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
