Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
