If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
