I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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