I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
