I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
