I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
