is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
