Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
