I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
