yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
