Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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