I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
