Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
