Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
