Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
