yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
