so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
