1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
