I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
