i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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