We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I want a musical about memes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
