I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
