Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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