What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
