YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
