sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
