I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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