You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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