You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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