I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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