small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
