By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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