Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
