I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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