ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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