'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
