I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
