I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
