I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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