No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
